Career Confusion Is Normal: A Wakefield Therapist Breaks It Down
Why Career Confusion Is More Common Than You Think
Shouldn’t you know what you want to do by now?
Feeling confused about your career? A therapist in Wakefield can help!
The question is painful, and society can put a lot of pressure on people to figure out what they want to do with their lives at SUCH young ages. Yet in the United States, our culture around professional endeavors leaves the door wide open to a ton of variety and evolution, so it’s a huge contradiction to expect people to have their careers figured out from a young age. All the pressure to know what you want to do when you “grow up” and to have a 5-year plan, a 10-year plan and so on, can be really suffocating for many people and lead them to feel utterly confused.
How are you supposed to know what you want to do in your career? When are you supposed to have it figure out? What if you learn that you don’t actually like what you thought you wanted to do? What if you’re simply not very skilled at what you want to do?
Career development is often associated with a great deal of uncertainty. While this is natural, particularly (but not exclusively) at younger ages, sometimes it can get out of control and lead to anxiety, frustration, low self-esteem and resentment. Working with a therapist in Wakefield can help you feel more secure in your decisions and your plan, or lack thereof, if you are finding yourself stuck. Therapy can teach you to evaluate what is most meaningful for you as an individual, and how to make peace with external pressures that might be zapping your satisfaction and fulfillment.
Signs You Might Be Experiencing Career Confusion
First, I want to say that feeling confusion about your career is not a problem at all, in and of itself! If you feel completely lost and confused, yet you can tolerate that confusion, trust that things will evolve and be engaged in your life in the meantime, you are doing great!
If you are feeling overwhelmed, stuck and resentful though, you might want to take a close look. If you feel like nothing excites you or if you second-guess yourself at every turn and talk yourself out of every potential opportunity because you are nit picking and feeling perfectionism take over, you might benefit from talking to someone about this process. Similarly, if you can’t stop obsessing over what everyone else is doing and you feel like a failure compared to everyone else around you, you could also benefit from a helpful hand.
Confusion is okay, but if you feel like confusion is eating away at all the joy in your life and zapping the pleasure out of your current life stage, you deserve help. You deserve to enjoy your life, even if you have no idea what you are doing with your career.
Common Causes of Career Confusion
There are nearly endless ways that people get confused about their careers, so it is no wonder that it happens so easily. Sometimes, understanding some of the contributing causes can open the door for more self-compassion and this can help you think more creatively moving forward. Some common causes all this confusion arises , and some ways you might make adjustments, include:
A disconnect between your job/role and your values: If you are extremely people-oriented and really value “giving back,” you might struggle in a role where you work alone all day in a cubicle or at home performing technical tasks. You simply might feel like the time spent, while contributing to your workplace, simply doesn’t scratch the value you have for helping people.
You may want to consider using your technical skills for a company with a mission that aligns with your values so you feel more connected. Or perhaps coworking could be really helpful for you, so you are in the physical company of others.
External expectations from your culture or family: If you are male and all the males in your family are tradesmen, it will be tough to become a teacher. If you are female and all the women in your family are nurses, it will be touch to become an accountant. Even with outward expressions of support (the best circumstance), there is not a model for you to follow. You will still feel different and this can cause friction and self-doubt. If family is outwardly critical of your choices, this is extremely hard.
You may want to communicate with others about how their statements make you feel and request that they show more support. You may also simply need to plan ways to decompress and take care of yourself, since it’s probably pretty predictable to feel lousy after family gatherings in this regard. Strengthening your sense of assuredness that you are in a field that has deep meaning to you can help you weather the challenges of doing something differently than what is expected.
Fear of failure: You may be really interested in something that is really challenging, yet feel tempted to take a different approach because you might not be able to get a job or perform well in your desired field. What if you’re not smart enough to be a good architect? What if you’re not good enough with money to own your own business? What if you’re too shy to work in customer service?
You may want to examine your definition of failure and consider what you would actually do if there was a negative outcome. Is it failure if you haven’t met your income goals or did you learn that you need more training? Is it failure that you couldn’t stand working in vet’s office or did you learn that you prefer animals as your pets and not at work, and now you an pursue something new? Consider how open you are to learning, and you may find that your fear of failure lessens.
Too many choices: As noted above, there are SO many options for careers in the United States. I remember when I was in my early days out of college my grandfather told me that “back when I was your age, women had three choices. They could be a teacher, a nurse or a secretary.” I remember feeling so glad I didn’t have to be limited to those career paths but also SO deeply jealous that there were only three very different professions to choose from as wow, did that make deciding much easier! In many other countries, professional paths are effectively selected around high school and students are on training tracks for specific fields since late adolescence. This can both be very stifling but also very helpful in quieting the indecision and perfectionism that faces many Americans.
You may want to remind yourself that there are many ways to feel good about your career and likely many paths you can take to feel fulfilled. While there are many, many choices, there are also many ways to make adjustments along the way and transition if needed.
How to Start Exploring Career Clarity
I should be clear that I am not a career counselor in any way, and I think that career counselors offer a tremendous value to helping people map pathways to professional satisfaction. We are very lucky in Massachusetts to have career centers across the state (https://www.mass.gov/masshire-career-centers) where you can get free career assistance. This is truly an incredible resource I recommend to people all the time! If this might be a good fit for you, definitely check out what the closest career center offers.
What I can offer instead is a therapist’s take on career confusion, and how to find more satisfaction amidst the confusion and how to find more inner clarity. Then I’ll let the career professionals help you map that into actual jobs!
As a therapist in Wakefield, whenever I am working with someone on career matters, we work on getting in touch with interests, skills and values. When those get identified, it can be much easier to consider what dynamics of work are most important, before getting into the actual career. Is intellectual challenge important to you? Solitude or companionship? Do you prefer to focus on overcoming challenges or generally to feel like you can be cruising? Do you like to (or need to) physically move around a lot? Does the mission of a company matter to you? How so?
Using the self-discovery aspect of therapy as a means to identify your intentions for your career can be helpful to starting to clarify your deeper needs from your career. Using myself as an example, I have certainly had evolution in my career path. And I admit I still don’t know exactly what I want to be doing in fifteen years. Yet it is very clear to me that I want to be challenged, I want to feel like I am growing and learning continuously. I want to feel like I am making a personal contribution to the work, and that my personal and unique way of doing the work is important. I also need to feel like I’m making a difference for others, both on an individual basis and also on a systemic basis. My current work scratches all these itches for me in deeply meaningful ways, and yet different work I have done in the past also did! Which gives me hope that future career evolution will continue to leave me with satisfaction, because I know these are the attributes I need to ensure are at least mostly present.
Coping with Anxiety Around Career Decisions
There is so much pressure to “get it right” around career decisions, whether it be choosing the “right” major, getting the “right” job after graduating or enduring a proper promotion track is underway. Yet it is important to recognize that in our current culture, few decisions are permanent, even if they are impactful. Might you be a bit later of a start into a profession? Absolutely, but that is unlikely to fully close doors. Even if doors do get closed, reminding yourself that there are so many alternatives can hopefully provide some comfort as well.
If you feel like the anxiety around career decisions has you feeling like the walls are closing in on you, consider meeting with a therapist in Wakefield to get more help. General anxiety management strategies may be really helpful for you, as this is probably not the only aspect of your life that you get stuck in these patterns. Learning to adjust your thinking habits and your activities can help open you up to more freedom in your career exploration and ultimately lead to more calm and peace.
How a Therapist in Wakefield Supports Career Exploration
Feeling confused about your career? A therapist in Wakefield can help you explore your options and build confidence in your path forward. Through therapy, you can build ease with decision-making and get personalized guidance and support as you figure out how to make peace with the confusion around your career.