From Overthinking to Understanding: Learning to Trust Your Own Mind — Insights from a Therapist in Wakefield
Struggling to trust your own thoughts? Find comfort with a therapist in Wakefield.
If you’ve ever caught yourself spiraling through thoughts—replaying a conversation, re-analyzing a choice, or mentally reworking a plan long after you’ve made it—you’re not alone. As we have been exploring in this series, overthinking is a very common tendency and yet unfortunately one that can bring a lot of unnecessary distress. In earlier posts about “what if” thinking and breaking the worry habit, we started to explore how to loosen the grip of overthinking. We will continue that trend here as we explore how to build more trust in your calmer thoughts.
Thinking, of course, is a good thing. It’s what helps us plan, solve, and create. But like so many things, too much of it can backfire. The goal isn’t to stop thinking or to become carefree overnight—it’s to let go of the extra thinking that keeps you trapped in indecision and start trusting your own judgment again. By the end of this post, my hope is that you can learn to trust your mind a little more—or at least enough to take your next step forward.
Why Overthinking Makes It Hard to Trust Yourself
Overthinking often comes from a sincere desire to make the right choice or avoid regret. There’s a hint of perfectionism in it—the drive to get things “correct” and to avoid missteps. The problem is that life rarely offers clean, perfect answers. When we hold ourselves to a rigid standard of certainty, we often end up frantic, frustrated, and further away from clarity.
It’s also easy to mistake overthinking for analyzing or problem-solving. The difference usually shows up in the outcome: analyzing or problem-solving leads somewhere—toward a conclusion, decision, or action. Overthinking, on the other hand, feels like a dog chasing its tail: a lot of motion, but no real movement forward.
Over time, this spinning pattern erodes confidence. You may start believing your thoughts can’t be trusted without a deep re-analysis or second opinion. Then, ironically, the instinct is to double down—“If I can just think through this one more time, I’ll finally feel certain.” Instead, that only reinforces the loop. Recognizing the cycle, and meeting it with self-compassion rather than self-criticism, is an important first step. It signals to your brain that there’s another, gentler way to make sense of things.
Signs You’re Stuck in an Overthinking Loop
Overthinking doesn’t always look dramatic—it can sneak into everyday decisions and routines until it feels natural or even necessary. Some signs you might be caught in the loop include:
• Replaying conversations or decisions repeatedly, trying to find the “perfect” version or outcome.
• Seeking constant reassurance—from others or from your own internal back-and-forth.
• Delaying decisions because you fear making the wrong one, even when the stakes are small.
• Feeling mentally tired, yet unsure what you actually believe or want.
• Feeling like you’ve invested so much time thinking about something, but still have nothing to show for it.
For instance, imagine you’re trying to buy a new washing machine. You’ve researched models, read reviews, asked for advice, and visited stores—yet if someone told you that you had to choose tomorrow, you’d still feel uncertain. Or maybe you’ve been trying to plan a family vacation. You think about it every day, stay up late imagining possibilities, and talk about how much you need the trip—yet no destination ever feels quite right.
In both cases, the goal of overthinking was to make a confident choice—but the result is the opposite: more confusion, more stress, and less trust in your ability to decide.
Gentle Shifts Toward Trusting Your Own Mind
The first shift is awareness. Begin noticing when you’re overthinking versus reflecting. Reflection feels grounded and calm, while overthinking usually feels tense, pressured, or circular. You can even ask yourself: Am I getting somewhere with this line of thought? Do I even know where I want to go?
Try to connect with what you already know. Ask: “What do I already understand about this situation?” or “If I were giving advice to a friend, what would I say?” This helps you draw on your existing wisdom instead of endlessly searching for external validation. Turning inward can help you shift to answering your questions rather than stirring up more questions.
Grounding techniques also help bring your attention back to the present moment. Try deep breathing, journaling, or taking a mindful walk. These small pauses interrupt mental noise and remind your brain that you can think clearly without the pressure to solve everything right now.
And finally, give yourself permission to think less. Hours of thought don’t predict better outcomes. Restless nights don’t ensure perfect decisions. Sometimes, taking a mental break is the most productive thing you can do. Consider putting a time limit on how long to explore something you keep overthinking. Sometimes having a clock ticking can be a helpful pressure to move into more analysis than spinning.
Building Confidence in Your Ability to Handle Outcomes
Overthinking is often fueled by fear—fear of a wrong choice, a missed opportunity, or an outcome that feels unbearable. But it’s worth remembering: most outcomes, even the imperfect ones, are manageable.
When you catch yourself stuck in “What if I choose wrong?” thinking, pause and ask: What do I trust in myself to handle if things don’t go as planned? Maybe it’s your creativity, humor, adaptability, or your ability to learn and take feedback.
For example, maybe a work project doesn’t go as expected—but you know you can take feedback and improve. Or maybe a decision about a move or relationship turns out differently than you hoped—but you trust your ability to find new footing.
Trusting yourself isn’t about knowing that things will always go right. It’s about believing you can handle what happens, even when it doesn’t go as desired.
This approach personally helps me a lot when I get stuck in an overthinking tailspin. Recently I was working on the obnoxiously complex process of planning summer camps for my kids, trying to find the balance of hours that work for us as parents, my kids’ interest and temperaments, what is available and when, coordinating that with friends and other vacation plans and all-the-things. It’s a process that easily brings about perfectionistic tendencies because naturally, I want my kids to have a great time, and I want them to enjoy it while my and my husband’s work demands feel balanced and of course, in the most affordable way. Ha!
There are a million and one ways to navigate the nonsense that is summer camp planning and I felt myself getting caught up in the pressure to get it “right.” I noticed I was spinning and getting indecisive so slowed down a bit and challenged myself to instead build a framework of how to decide in the next five minutes, which I did quickly. Then I challenged myself to make a decision about a couple of weeks and call it a day, which was much easier than expected.
Most importantly, I shifted my mindset from feeling like there was a right way to do it, and into accepting that there are many good enough ways to plan the summer. I reminded myself that some weeks are probably going to feel frazzled and others might be duds, yet we will all be okay. The kids may whine, and I can handle that. I may feel pulled in a million directions, but I can find time to catch up and reprioritize. I fully trust that I will be a support to my whole family in a way that we will all get through anything okay. Nothing about summer plans is going to destroy anyone.
Which also helped me realize that my concern for managing one kid’s food allergy is indeed something to think seriously about, so I also recognized that as a true factor worthy of its own planning time, and will plan accordingly for it. Trusting it would all be okay in the end gave me the ease I needed to move forward.
When to Seek Support From a Therapist in Wakefield
Sometimes, overthinking becomes more than a habit—it starts to feel like a full-time job. You might notice that you’re losing sleep, waking up in the night replaying conversations, or feeling more disconnected from your emotions. Maybe your loved ones are gently pointing out that you’re “stuck in your head,” or you’re just tired of feeling uncertain all the time.
If that sounds familiar, therapy can help. A therapist in Wakefield can guide you in recognizing your overthinking patterns, developing awareness, and learning new tools to manage them. Together, you can rebuild trust in your own perspective—so your mind starts to feel like an ally instead of an adversary.
Therapy offers more than strategies; it offers change. Opportunities to pause, to explore, and to practice new ways of relating to your thoughts without judgment or pressure. Over time, that process becomes the foundation for genuine and lasting change, bringing you more confidence and clarity in your thinking.
In Closing
Learning to trust your mind isn’t about thinking less—it’s about thinking more intentionally. You don’t need to snap your fingers and quiet the noise completely. You just need to practice noticing when you’re in the loop and gently guide yourself back toward clarity and calm.
Trust doesn’t grow from perfection—it grows from awareness. The more you practice recognizing your overthinking patterns and meeting them with curiosity instead of frustration, the more space you create for understanding and trust to take root.
If you’re ready to feel calmer and more confident in your own mind, therapy can help you find that steadiness and self-trust.
Stay tuned for the next post in this series: “When Overthinking Shows Up at Night: How to Calm a Busy Mind Before Bed.”
Michelle Butman Collins, LICSW
Michelle Butman Collins, LICSW, is a therapist in Wakefield, MA, providing in-person therapy in Wakefield and online therapy for adults and young adults across Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Vermont. She helps clients navigate life transitions, reduce overwhelm, and reconnect with a sense of fulfillment and ease. Michelle also specializes in supporting caregivers and improving sleep through CBT-I. She believes therapy is a space for both serious work and genuine connection—grounded in curiosity, compassion, and change.