Overthinking Everything? A Therapist in Wakefield Shares How to Find Peace with Your Mind

Seek help from a therapist in Wakefield to help calm the storm in your mind

Do you ever find yourself replaying a conversation from earlier in the day, analyzing every word you said, or worrying about what someone might have thought of you? Maybe you find yourself thinking through every possible outcome of a decision—again and again—hoping that more mental effort will lead to certainty or confidence you are making the right choice.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Overthinking is one of the most common struggles people bring into therapy. It can be exhausting to live inside a mind that never seems to rest. But there are ways to quiet the mental noise, regain perspective, and find steadier ground.

As a therapist in Wakefield, I often help clients untangle their thoughts, uncover what’s fueling their overthinking, and learn how to respond to their minds in a gentler, more effective way. Let’s explore what’s really happening when your thoughts won’t slow down—and how therapy can help you find peace with your mind.

What Overthinking Really Is (and Why It’s So Exhausting)

Overthinking often disguises itself as “being prepared” or “trying to figure things out.” It can feel like you’re being responsible or careful—wanting to make sure you’ve thought through every angle before acting. Heaven forbid you be caught off-guard or make a decision that doesn’t lead to the best outcome.

But overthinking isn’t productive problem-solving. It’s a mental replay button that keeps you analyzing conversations, decisions, or possibilities long after it is useful to do so. You might find yourself thinking, “Maybe I should have said it differently,” or “What if I made the wrong choice?”

Our brains tend to overthink when they’re trying to feel safe or in control. When something feels uncertain, the mind steps in with more thinking as a way to manage anxiety and try to bring about certainty. Ironically, this effort to gain control usually makes us feel more anxious and drained, because we can tell we have manufactured a false sense of security.

A therapist in Wakefield can help you recognize when your thoughts have shifted from genuine problem-solving into self-criticism or fear loops. Learning to spot this shift is the first step toward breaking free from it. Once you can identify when your mind is spiraling, you can begin to respond differently—and that’s where real relief begins.

The Hidden Costs of Living in Your Head

Overthinking can take a toll on both your body and mind. Physically, it can lead to decision fatigue, sleep problems, and a constant sense of being “on alert.” Headaches abound. Tummy troubles are common. Even when you’re trying to rest, your mind might keep scanning for what needs to be solved next and your body will maintain a physical alertness to match.

Emotionally, overthinking can make you feel stuck—like you’re doing a lot of thinking but not actually moving forward. You might feel paralyzed by indecision or overwhelmed by the sense that there’s always more to consider. I often refer to this kind of thinking as “pinball brain,” where things are going off and moving all over the place and there is a whole lot of something going on, and yet it’s mostly chaos. It’s not orderly—and when something gets through, it’s often with far more effort than something smoother, like Skee-ball.

It can also affect relationships. When you second-guess how others perceive you or replay interactions repeatedly, you can end up creating unnecessary self-doubt. You may seek reassurance or feedback from others without ever feeling soothed by their responses. Over time, this can be frustrating both for you and for the people who care about you.

Therapy can help you uncover the personal and unique reasons you get stuck in overthinking. For some, it’s driven by perfectionism—the desire to get everything exactly right. For others, it’s a fear of negative judgment or difficulty trusting one’s instincts.

By understanding your specific patterns, you can then use your strengths to develop new, more adaptive thinking habits. With awareness, what once felt like endless mental noise becomes a series of patterns you can notice, name, and begin to shift.

Why Your Brain Loves “What Ifs”

“What if” thoughts can feel strangely reassuring at first. The mind whispers, “If I imagine every possible outcome, I’ll be ready for anything.” It’s an understandable instinct—our brains evolved to anticipate danger as a way to keep us safe.

The problem is that “what if” thinking rarely brings peace. Instead of preparing us, it often keeps us trapped in anxiety. When every possibility is examined, even unlikely ones, the brain stays in a constant state of alertness.

Understanding how your brain’s threat system works can help you separate imagined danger from genuine concern. Our brains are wired to treat uncertainty as potential danger, even when the situation isn’t truly risky. Recognizing this tendency can make it easier to pause and ask, “Is there actually something to be concerned about here, or can I take a step back and acknowledge everything is mostly okay?”

A therapist in Wakefield can help you learn how to respond to uncertainty with curiosity instead of alarm. Together, you can explore ways to build confidence that you can handle the unexpected—even if it still feels uncomfortable. The goal isn’t to eliminate uncertainty (which isn’t possible), but to grow your capacity to tolerate it with a little more ease. When you trust that you can navigate what comes, the unexpected becomes less daunting.

How to Gently Quiet a Busy Mind

When your mind is racing, it’s natural to want to “turn it off.” But trying to stop your thoughts can backfire—it often leads to more frustration and even louder mental chatter. Instead, the path to calm usually begins with noticing and making small shifts that add up to be enough over time.

Start by observing your thoughts without judgment. Imagine your thoughts like water flowing in a river rather than problems to solve. You don’t need to jump in or swim against the current; you can simply watch the movement and notice how it feels to allow the water to flow on its own. Notice what the content of your thoughts actually is and if there are any themes. By observing, you will end up participating a bit less, which dials back the intense energy of engaging in overthinking.

Grounding yourself in the present moment can also help. Small practices like sensory check-ins (“What can I see, hear, or feel right now?”) or mindful breathing help remind your body that you’re safe here and now—not in the past or the imagined future.

You might also experiment with reframing your self-talk. Instead of telling yourself, “I need to figure this out,” try, “I can come back to this later.” Or you might take an even gentler approach and say, “It’s tough that I can’t figure this out right now,” or “It’s normal that this feels tricky.” These phrases invite compassion instead of criticism and are a further way of observing the thoughts and allowing them to be difficult, rather than to fully engage in a wrestling match with them.

Therapy can help you identify which calming tools fit your personality and thinking style. What works for one person may not work for another—and that’s okay. When you find what truly resonates for you, you’ll begin to feel real, lasting relief.

Building a Kinder Relationship with Your Thoughts

Overthinking often stems from a harsh internal dialogue. You might believe that being hard on yourself keeps you motivated or prevents mistakes. But in reality, constant self-criticism can increase anxiety and make decision-making harder.

Learning to respond to your thoughts with kindness changes the entire relationship you have with your mind. When you can say to yourself, “Of course I’m worried—this matters to me,” it shifts the tone from judgment to understanding. The thought itself may not go away immediately, but it becomes less powerful when met with compassion.

Self-compassion practices are not about ignoring your thoughts; they’re about engaging with them differently. Instead of spiraling into guilt or rumination, you can learn to pause, breathe, and remind yourself that it’s okay to care deeply while still not having all the answers.

A therapist in Wakefield can help you explore ways to treat your thoughts as signals, not enemies. Over time, this mindset makes room for greater creativity, emotional balance, and peace of mind. You’ll start to trust yourself again, even when your thoughts are busy or uncertain.

When to Seek Support for Overthinking

It’s normal for your mind to be active—it’s what minds do. But if your thoughts regularly disrupt sleep, concentration, or relationships, it may be time to reach out for support.

Therapy provides a structured, compassionate space to understand the patterns beneath your overthinking. It helps you strengthen emotional regulation and learn strategies that bring your mind back to balance.

Whether in-person in Wakefield or online across Massachusetts, Connecticut, or Vermont, therapy offers a collaborative process—not about silencing your mind, but learning to live peacefully with it.

With time and support, you can move from mental overload to meaningful insight. You can begin to see your mind not as the problem, but as something that’s been trying (a little too hard) to keep you safe. With practice, you can guide it back toward calm, one thought at a time.

Michelle Butman Collins, LICSW, is a therapist in Wakefield, MA, who helps young adults and adults feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or stuck find more fulfillment and ease in their lives. She offers both in-person and online therapy in Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Vermont, with a personalized approach that helps clients understand themselves and make meaningful changes.