Grieving the Old While Welcoming the New: A Wakefield Therapist’s Take on Finding Meaning in Transitions
Finding more ease with transitions from a therapist in Wakefield
Transitions can stir up a mix of emotions—hope, fear, grief, curiosity—all swirling together in ways that can feel confusing and disorienting. Whether it’s moving to a new city, ending a relationship, changing careers, or stepping into a new phase of life, change asks us to release something familiar before we can fully embrace what’s next, which is often far less familiar.
As a therapist in Wakefield, I often see people surprised by how heavy change can feel, even when it’s something they chose or wanted. Beneath the excitement of a new chapter, there’s often quiet grief for what’s being left behind. Grieving what you are leaving and looking back doesn’t make you ungrateful for the change ahead—it is simply a natural and authentic way to experience change. And you do not need to go through this process alone.
Why Transitions Often Bring Grief (Even When They’re Positive)
Every change involves loss. When life shifts, even in ways that are “good,” something else must fall away—routines, relationships, roles, or the familiar sense of who we were in a certain chapter.
You might feel the ache of no longer being a student after graduation, or the bittersweetness of watching your child grow up and need you less.
You might feel both joy and sadness when leaving a job you’ve outgrown, or moving from one home to another. I remember when my oldest kid finally was big enough for a booster seat and no longer needed me to buckle her into her seat every car ride. I was so eager for this milestone so she could have more independence. Yet what happened the first time she got in all by herself? I felt a massive pang of wistfulness that I wouldn’t be giving her a kiss when I got her buckled in any longer.
Grief isn’t limited to tragedy or endings that feel devastating. It’s also the natural response to transition—the emotional recognition that something meaningful is changing.
A therapist in Wakefield can help you recognize that this grief isn’t a sign of struggling or being stuck, but a sign that something mattered to you. When we see grief as part of growth rather than a disruption, we can move through it with more grace and self-compassion.
The Subtle Losses We Don’t Always Name
Some losses are obvious, like the end of a relationship or a move across the country. Others are quiet—so quiet, in fact, that we might not even notice them at first.
Loss of identity: You might wonder, Who am I now that I’m no longer the one who always organizes family gatherings, or the go-to person at work, or the one holding everything together, or the one who can be counted on to get the party started? Sometimes we grieve versions of ourselves—roles we played, ways we were needed, or ways we defined success.
Loss of community or rhythm: Moving to a new place, graduating, or retiring can disrupt the daily structures and social ties that gave our days shape. Even small changes—like switching teams at work—can alter our sense of belonging.
Loss of possibility: The path you didn’t take, the dream that quietly expired, or the version of life you imagined but never got to live. These “invisible griefs” can linger in the background, shaping our emotions in ways we don’t always see at first.
When we name these subtle losses, we allow ourselves to tend to them. Without acknowledgment, they can keep part of us stuck, unsure why moving forward feels so heavy.
The Emotional Push and Pull of Transition
Transitions rarely feel clean or linear. You might find yourself feeling pulled in two directions—excited for what’s ahead and deeply sad for what’s ending. One day you may feel ready to move forward; the next, you might long for what’s gone.
It’s common to feel guilt for not feeling purely happy about a positive change. Maybe you should feel grateful for your new opportunity or life stage—but your emotions haven’t caught up yet.
This push and pull is part of what makes transitions emotionally complex. Even when we intellectually know a change is “right,” our emotional selves may take time to adjust.
Therapy offers a space to hold both truths. A therapist in Wakefield can help you sit with these contradictions instead of rushing to “move on.” Growth doesn’t mean forcing excitement or positivity—it means learning to live more comfortably within the full range of your emotions as you navigate what’s unfolding.
How Therapy Can Support You Through Grief and Growth
In therapy, you can explore the many layers of your transition—what’s ending, what’s beginning, and what’s still unfolding in between.
Reflection: Consider what you learned, what you’ll miss, and what you want to carry forward.
Self-compassion: Change can bring discomfort and self-doubt. Therapy helps you meet yourself gently, allowing all of your emotions rather than trying to control or eliminate them.
Personal narrative: Explore the story you tell yourself about who you are and how you navigate change. Understanding how past transitions have shaped your patterns and beliefs can help you approach current ones with more awareness.
Ultimately, a therapist in Wakefield can help you integrate both loss and renewal so they can coexist rather than compete. The goal isn’t to erase the old chapter, but to make meaning from it—to let it inform who you’re becoming without defining you entirely.
Practices to Gently Welcome the New Chapter
While therapy offers structured support, there are also simple practices you can explore on your own as you move through transitions.
Rituals of closure: Writing a letter you never send, creating a keepsake, or taking a quiet moment to say goodbye to a place or phase of life. Rituals help your heart catch up to the change your mind already knows has happened.
Grounding in small consistencies: The song you play while getting ready in the morning, a favorite mug, or time with a trusted friend can anchor you while new routines are still forming.
Naming hope and setting intentions: Identify what you want to invite in, or the values you want to guide your choices. Gentle intentions give your transition a sense of direction without pressure.
Give yourself time: Welcoming the new isn’t about rushing to feel ready—it’s about allowing readiness to arrive in its own rhythm.
When the Old and the New Coexist
There’s a moment in many transitions when both the old and the new are present—you haven’t fully let go, but you’re not quite settled into what’s next either. This in-between space can feel uncertain, but it’s also full of potential.
Grief and gratitude can coexist. You can miss what was while still being thankful for what’s emerging. Feeling both doesn’t mean you’re conflicted; it means you’re emotionally tuned in to the messy reality of your experience.
Identity can evolve without erasing what came before. You don’t have to choose between who you were and who you’re becoming. The parts of you that thrived in earlier chapters can still have a place in your story—they just take on new forms.
Transitions aren’t single moments of change; they’re ongoing processes of integration. Therapy can help you weave together both sides—the holding on and the letting go—so life feels whole again.
Change is rarely simple. It asks us to release, to trust, and to rediscover who we are in the spaces between. When we allow ourselves to grieve what’s ending, we open up room to welcome what’s next—not as a replacement, but as a continuation of our evolving story.
Through reflection, compassion, and sometimes support from a therapist in Wakefield, we can find meaning in even the most uncertain transitions. Grief becomes less of a stopping point and more of a bridge—connecting who we were with who we are becoming.
Michelle Butman Collins, LICSW, is a therapist in Wakefield, MA, providing in-person and online therapy for adults and young adults across Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Vermont. She helps clients navigate life transitions, reduce overwhelm, and reconnect with a sense of fulfillment and ease. Michelle also specializes in supporting caregivers and in treating insomnia using CBT-I. Her approach blends curiosity, compassion, and courage—helping clients meet change with both grace and grounding.